e·mo·tion (ĭ-mō'shən) n.
1. A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love.
2. A state of mental agitation or disturbance.
3. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling; sensibility.
1. A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love.
2. A state of mental agitation or disturbance.
3. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling; sensibility.
Emotions really are annoying and not that helpful. I don't know what to do with them most of the time. The up and down and loop dee loops are only fun for a while. I don't know how to balance the seesaw and its annoying. I have come up with a list of emotions that have recently filled my days. They also happen to be the ones that flummox me the most.
1- Boredom. The inside of my house is only fun for so long. I have images in my head of me with a saddle and three kids hanging off of it. I know its my life stage and it goes quickly and I'll be sad when its gone. blah blah blah
2 - Rage. I must have some deep seeded aggression that makes me want to bite Sean for no reason (I did say bite). I found what I lost yesterday only after wanting to throw Griffins T-ball game ball through the kitchen window.
3 - Unpursued. Life happens and people are busy and no one thinks about me as much as I do and somehow it annoys me that my happiness is not the most important part of everyone else's day.
4 -Discontent. I have been on about every side of the fence and why does it still seem that wherever I am not there is green grass.
5 - Anticipation. My day seems to pass with me waiting for the best part to happen. So often the most exciting part is the walk to the mailbox.
I wonder if I should keep this all in my head...
n
But I guess if there is no emotion there is no love, hope, familiarity, togetherness, desire, courage, optimism, surprise, acceptance, delight, longing, honor. There must be a way to live in the middle, lean to an appropriate emotional side now and again but return to a balanced, upright, unconsumed way. The roller coaster is finally making me sick.
4 comments:
I know things are hard but it does get better. By the way, I think you're great!
"I know it's my life stage and it goes quickly and I'll be sad when it's gone"...
It Does go fast but do you think Fathers say this to themselves too?
I think the best medicine in the world for Mothers is a part time job. Even a few hours a week away from home. Everyone needs an identity outside of "Mom", "Wife", "Husband" or "Father". There is nothing like productivity that is rewarded with money to make you feel better.
annie, you can check "unpursued" off your list. i feel like i am tracking you like a deer in hunting season. i have seen you so many times it's becoming strange. even when you don't see me, i'll pass you in my car, watch you walk out of target. seriously weird.
how'd you get through that not feeling guilty....just joking. the feeling I feel most w/ my kids and family is guilty, guilty for wishing i was elsewhere. stage of life or not..sometimes it just sucks! encouraging words, no but wanted you to know you arent alone in how you are feeling!
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