Friday, December 29, 2006
Our house is divided, the girls from the boys because of a little thing called Conjunctivitis. Parker and I have fallen victim to the EYE. Now we are trying to keep the male type Murphy's from catching it which in my mind, seems impossible. I guess there will be lots of hand washing, no rubbing eyeballs, and X's quarantined from Y's.
Perhaps I can use this time to do nothing and love it. I just gave Parker and I our drops though and now it is running down the back of my throat and tastes SICK, I guess if she can take it I can.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Things seem to be winding down at my house. Today we started taking the Christmas decorations down including the tree. I had a twinge of sadness but for the most part, I don't love Christmastime. So there is something comforting to me as things begin to return to whatever normal is.
There is security in normalcy for me. I love knowing what most days have in store. I love waking up hearing Sean getting ready for work. I love peeking in on my kids before the day starts...
I started this thinking I was going to go talk about our new bedding. It is the best. Man, its awesome. We got a down comforter, a new coverlet, sheets and pillows and this bedding will rival any ensemble you throw at me. As I have said before, I am always on a quest for the perfect bed as Sean is always on a quest for mac and cheese like Ted Jackson made. OK anyways, I just wanted to tell you this is the best, most comfortable, most secure bed. But as I started, I realized I have control issues, and have said I a lot. I also know I have been so annoying lately and can't seem to figure out why. I have slipped into pieces of my old self, a person who is incredibly insecure, can't decide a thing, and who is always worried about what/thinks everyone is thinking about her. Does knowing this make it any better?
I want things the way I want them when I want them. I need to know things will return to what I knew of them when all the chaos is over. I think I need to ease up on the expectations I have. I put expectations on my friends, my family, my kids, myself and when they aren't met, I get thrown into a tailspin. Which is part of why I think holidays are not so great for me. I have such huge ideas of what I want it to be like and it rarely is. In fact, when it is over, I sigh and think, "Hmmm, this is it, this is what it was all about."
I am going to go crawl into the best bed in the tri-state with the best husband in the tri-state and think through this some more because I'm not even sure how to end this...
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
I had never gone anywhere close to a mall as a shopper the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas...until today. I think I just wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. I have some friends who go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and/or the day after Christmas. I just don't think I get it.
Today I went out in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe I thought I'd get a plasma tv for $.35 and a car for $6 and free clothes for my kids and I just couldn't find those. I didn't realize all I'd find were some 1/2 off ornaments and Santa dog sweaters. I also didn't realize that in order to go shopping that early in the morning, you need to be grumpy, run your cart into people and complain how crowded the store is. At least I can say I have experienced this phenomenon.
I think next year I'll stay cuddled in my bed, under the sheets I bought this morning.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
After a busy morning, there is little I like more than putting on comfy clothes. If only I were putting on overalls...
What happened to the overalls? They were the single greatest, most comfortable, good for anyone attire. I loved the overalls.
I miss you denim bibs...
Friday, December 15, 2006
We have some best friends of life we have known close to 10 years. Since the day we met them, we have loved them. Life gets busy and schedules fill up so lots of our time together is over the telephone wires.
But not tonight! Tonight we get to see them, eat dinner with them and just be with them. I can't wait. I love these people, love them. My husband loves them, Cooper and Parker love them. But of all of us, I don't know if any of us love them the way Griffin does. Griffin and Maddy have been buddies since they were born. Griffin still emphatically declares his love for her and talks of their marriage. Both kids say they want to marry each other but they don't want to have to kiss. If given the choice of playmates, he will always pick Maddy first.
Because of their love, I have realized I am all for arranged marriages. With the track record of marriages lately, I think a little wisdom and experience of people a little further down the road is so valuable. I find the same in my parenting too. I want my children to listen to me and learn from the crap I've done and trust me that they don't know better than me. I want them to be safe and I want them to be healthy and protected and I feel like I can probably see things differently than they can. When heartbreak comes, I want to say, "I know your heart hurts. You are 14, you will be ok." And when school gets in the way, I want to say, "Press on, this is so much more important than hanging at the mall." When a soccer match is lost, I want to say, "Oh honey, I know this stinks but you are so much more than a soccer player." I guess I want to let them know I have been there, I know what its like and I want to tell them, "Believe me, I know life hurts, I've been there. But trust me, I am on your side, I love you and I am looking at the bigger picture."
This time of year reminds me of the crux of my faith, Jesus being born into this world. On a tiny, tiny scale, my love for my kids represents the way God feels about every person on this Earth. Every person, no matter what, regardless of dumb stuff we may or may not have done. Every person whether "good" or "bad". Every person going to church on Sunday or not. He really knows better than I and sees my whole life when I see today. Maybe sometime in the next couple weeks, think about it.
"You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High." Luke 1:31-32
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
There are reasons for the legging, I'm sure, but I have no idea what they are. Aside from exercising in the privacy of your own home as to not expose others to the tightness of your pantaloons and/or wearing comfy clothes to clean the toilets in, I can't come up with anything. I realize Flashdance and A Chorus Line initiated the craze but do we really need to keep it alive?
The only way to make them worse is to attach stirrups to their bottoms. From one extreme of the body type to the other, they are just plain unflattering. Somewhere, there is someone who thinks this is the way to go, just not AMDesigns and for that reason, a big thumbs down. Why wear things that cling so tightly? Perhaps that's the point.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
I got a much needed email today from a special girl. She and her bf own huge pieces of my heart, they were two tough ones to say bye to when we left PA.
I wonder what makes them so special. I wonder how relationships work. I wonder what makes certain people click with other people. Why are some people so easily forgotten when others make my heart hurt when I think of how much I miss them? What makes some people so easy to love?
For whatever reason, Sean and I have found ourselves loving these two. Sean and I desperately want them land here someday. Sean even took them on a tour of UC with the hopes of giving them some Catitude. So fellow Cincinnati peeps, I need you to help convince them to take the leap and become Buckeyes. What makes OH so much better than PA?
I miss you guys...xoxoxo
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I realized today that I owe cold weather and snow an apology.
My issue isn't so much with the snow and the cold weather. If you've been to my house, you know I like it cold. My issue however, is with the lack of sunshine. I find that winter steals the sun and replaces it with gray, bland crap and because of that, my anger has been displaced. So snow, I'm sorry. Perhaps we can get together for some sort of fight in the next few months.
I function so much better when it is sunny outside regardless of the temperature. I just want to have the sun shining on me and the promise of spring to get me through the winter. So if someone could just get on that...
Monday, December 04, 2006
Griffin, Cooper, Parker, Peggy, Susan and I just got back from Sharon Woods and seeing the Holiday in Lights. Sharon Woods is such a great place no matter what time of year but last night was awesome. We drove through the park and looked at thousands and thousands and thousands of Christmas lights and displays.
I definitely have mixed feelings about Christmas-time. She and I have a love/hate relationship. But tonight I loved her. I got to see my kids eyes literally lit up with wonder and excitement. Griffin was screaming out the window, "This is awesome!" We set no land speed records as we crept through the park and even backed up at times to look at things twice. We all took turns sharing what our favorite display was, there was everything from a candy cane ferris wheel, to a sledding bunny. There were dozens of Santas and snowy snowing snowflakes.
Coopers favorite without a doubt, was the airplanes. One was flying with a bag of presents and his favorite favorite was the Santa flying the plane and dropping presents to the ground. For the entire ride, he just kept saying, "Ooooooooh!" and "Ohhhhhhhhh!" He would clap his little hands and cheer for these lights that in his little life, were magical, but in my adult reality, it was lights along a road that reminded me of all the stuff I have to do in the next few weeks. It did wonders for my heart that is so caught up in my junk, my worry, my stress to be able to watch my kids enjoy something so simple.
There is much to be said about the mind of a child. Trust, enjoyment and fun are exactly that, love comes so easily. I realize in so many ways I need to adopt the ways of my kids, I don't want to stay a child, I want to grow up and do grown up things. But at times, I think we could all stand to remember the simplicity, innocence and pure joy of being a child.