After a night of little sleep and playing nursemaid, my streptococcus laden 6 year old asked if he could see me in the other room. He was on one knee and handed me this picture and said, "Will you be my Valentine?"
I had a meeting last night. The distance from my house to the meeting is 6.2 miles. In that 6.2 miles, our almost 2 year old said my name 247 times. That is roughly once every 40 feet, for 6.2 miles. It wasn't always Mommy, there were Mamas, Moms, Maaaaaaas that sounded like Godzilla in a car seat and then when he got super frustrated, he even tried Annie. It wasn't like I was ignoring him for the 6.2 miles either, I would answer his questions or look as he pointed at a car or a raindrop or threw matchbox cars at me or just said hi from the backseat. I was at my limit. I worry about how quickly I will get to my limit today with another snow day and all. Another person home all day who can say Mommy will up those numbers. So if you want to talk to me today, try Morse code or smoke signals, just don't say Annie.
Well, it was time. It seemed like the thing to do. Besides, everyone else is doing it. The pink was a little old, juvenile, first blogish. It stretched me in my limited computer ways but I think I like it. My goal is to become a little more cyber-savvy. But why is my name weird by Troy?
Kristen, recognize the caption? I wish I could have been there this weekend. I miss your face.
I am trying to not be frustrated with all the time on our hands, the smell of enclosed house, the coldness of outside, little people needing the same toy at the exact same moment, feeling like I am grounded, the binding power of naps. I need to think of some fun things to do lest Griffin and Cooper turn into Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor. Because of the stage of life we are in, too much time at home becomes less fun and more of a chore. Had we known there would be this many days off school, we would have gone to somewhere hot! Maybe we will turn on the Buffett and crank the heat and put on summer clothes. I think we are on to something...
But I would say, love everyday. If you want to give a card or send flowers or buy a present, don't wait until the all non-magical day of 2/14. That is why I love my husband so much, we don't necessarily "celebrate" Valentines Day. He is so great surprising me and spontaneously loving me and most often, it is exactly when I need it. And I love that he is training our boys to do the same thing.
It is hard to accept criticism, encouragement, or instruction from a hidden source let alone try to have a somewhat intelligent conversation. I don't think life is meant to be lived behind curtains or in the shadows. We aren't here to be alone and hiding from people is the easy way. You can say what you want, how you want, to anyone who will listen with no responsibility and no validity. My life is lived having conversations with people that have names, not people masked behind a computer screen. There are things that seem cowardly to me and anonymity is one. There isn't much credit lent to the person who is so passionate about what they say but just not quite passionate enough to put their name to it.
Apparently I am still struggling with the anger issues...
Relationships are tough. Period. Whenever there is more than one person involved in a conversation, it is tough. Regardless of the ages of the two, the history of the two, the future of the two, the defining status of the two, the physical proximity of the two, the fact that there are two is what makes it not a cinch. Today I am going to choose to love because I feel like this will be one of those days and unfortunately, I think I may have to talk to people today. For me it is a choice because I have the least discipline or resolve of anyone person in the tri-state. So here's to choices...
There is a cold trend (I know, its a stretch). As much disdain I have for the wintery mix that is covering everything outside, it really is beautiful to look at. The level 3 snow storm brought my husband home and it is only 2:30. All of my family is home and safe. My barely talking toddler is standing at the window jumping up and down and yelling what I can only imagine is, "SNOW! SNOW!" It makes me happy.
I was shoveling the driveway and it was covered again before I finished. It was co-old. I went inside and was warmed up by just looking at the faces of the people in there and then got to cuddle them under a blanket to warm my fingers. It made me start thinking...there are people all over this city and lots of others that would literally dream of a day like mine is only they could find an indoor place to sleep and get warm.
Regardless of your thoughts on homelessness, I would guess this has to hurt a little bit. People have needs both long and short term. I don't have an answer, barely a proposal. But I know that my head in the sand isn't working anymore. I don't know really how to end this or even a point but I have a real stomach ache thinking about this.