"I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

n

I heard a friend talking about this the other night. This is noteworthy because it is the third time I have heard someone talk about this and it led to the hundredth conversation about it in the last two weeks. (I can't go any further without pointing out that after a ridiculously long time, I have figured out how to link something.) It is from the third chapter of the first book of the bible. Adam and Eve have just realized their nakedness after they ate the fruit they had been instructed not to eat. I think that this is at least a recognizable story for most people, I think most people have heard of the Garden of Eden and know about the apple eating.

m

I am fascinated by the thought of this and the repercussions it has had on us as a world full of people who most likely have relationships with other people. The tree that the fruit came from was the tree that would open their eyes so they'd be like God, knowing good and evil. That is all info that they received from, and believed, that a sneaky snake told them.

l

As they ate, they realized not only their lack of clothes. At that time, they realized the nakedness of their bodies and their emotions, their souls. So we all want to blame Eve for giving Adam the apple, giving us pain in childbirth, etc etc etc but so much more happened in that bite. Blame started flying, as did guilt and shame. Because of that, they did what they could to cover up what seemed to need covering up, their bodies, their heart and their relationships. Humans began hiding. We started hiding everything we knew about us from anything we thought we knew about anyone else.

h

In the last few years, the buzz word in churches and Christian circles has been authenticity. While I am all for it and think it is good and necessary and important blah blah blah, I think it is a little dangerous. For a long time, I had some friends who were so "authentic" and real and genuine and I was striving for authenticity in my life.
v

There are things that we hide behind, every single one of us. We hide behind fear of just about everything, rejection, losing control, being in control, what other people think, we hide behind guilt, image, being exposed and the flip side of every one of those. It is all hidden behind a mask that we wear thinking no one else can see our mask and we are safe behind it. While that may be true, when we wear a mask, no one can see our face, our smile, our eyes, our tears, our scars, our joy.

j

I have found that in my life, I was able to hide very well. I hid from everyone I came into contact with until I became authentic. I was very authentic and relevant and more of a fraud than when I was hiding. It was hard work keeping up with what was my authentic self. I have found that it is hard keep up a front regardless of what is behind it, healthy person, image of healthy person, or incredibly unhealthy, addicted, shameful, hurt, afraid person. I was playing a character with the role of being authentic.

n

I wonder what would happen if we took off our masks and used that energy to connect in a real life, bonded, healthy friendships, if we genuinely loved people without the hope of anything in return. It is telling to watch the way someone interacts with another person who can do nothing for them. It is too hard to be a character.

n

So I guess this is what people were doing being authentic. Maybe I am just learning what real authenticity means. Give me a few years and I'll catch up, I'll learn how to email soon.