Say cheese

I have to tell on myself before I start this... I was watching Dr. Phil the other day. He had some whack jobs on talking about their in-laws and how absolutely horrible their relationships are. One mother-in-law is on the lam accused of trying run her son-in-law down with her SUV. Another mother-in-law said things to her daughter-in-law in front of her grandchildren that I don't think I'd even think about the wall nevermind a person. All that dysfunction led me to this.

I am coming off a great weekend. My in-laws came to town to surprise Griffin for his last football game, this after they had come the week before as well. It was all planned out that they would go home and leave our nephew, Connor with us for the weekend. I had waited to tell Griffin until Thursday because I would have been driven nuts by the, "Mommy how long til Connor gets here?" "16 hours Griffin." "How long now mommy?" "15 hours and 58 minutes Griffin." And that would have continued until the minute Connor got out of the car. Then Thursday afternoon, Griffins coach (the one Peggy asked if he had a girlfriend) called to say that the game had been cancelled because it was rainy and so cold (meaning the tailgate got cancelled and there are dozens of hotdogs jammed in our freezer but it is rescheduled for next Thursday.) All that runs through my head is the ensuing meltdown because I already told Griffin.

OK all of this to say I have the greatest in-laws of anyone. I have been saying for years and years that I am so lucky to have married into this family. And although I am oft reminded that I am not a blood Murphy, I still love them. It meant so much to Griffin and me as the mommy that they still came even though the reason they were coming was cancelled.

The weekend was packed with games, laughing and lots of food. But Saturday night was a night of division and I loved it. The boys stayed at 8868 and the girls stayed at 7430. It was Parkers first girls night and she loved it. It was a perfect night.

After dinner, I sat around the table with my aunts and they told story after story and we looked at family pictures, some just taken and some 100 years old. Apparently my aunt Susan has a bum leg that led to her first job. It was so fascinating to me, some many stories and so much Irishness. Some pictures I had seen before and others I was enamored with. I felt a whole new connection to the family I now call mine after seeing some of these. Seeing pictures of the lives I have heard stories about for so long made the pictures look different. My father-in-laws mother has a story unlike many others. She was a marine that bounced quarters off the sheets to see how well her grandsons made their beds. She was an only child and her mother passed away when she was young from an accident and her father took his own life. The eyes in the generations old pictures looked more quiet, more sad and so unlike the family I know. As the pictures moved through the years, the eyes began to smile and you can almost year the laughter in the pictures. I saw pictures of an absolutely gorgeous blond 20 something and immediately recognized the face as my mother-in-law. A mother-in-law who I will never question the way she feels about me, I know that I know that she loves me. I saw pictures of a sassy little baby that could be no other than Seans nutty aunt. I saw pictures of the most handsome and generous grandpa second only to my grandpa Curfman. Pictures of the greatest nephew and cousin to my kids. There were pics of my sister-in-law who I love to get mani/pedis with, go to fancy restaurants and talk about our Murphy men.

I realized that my oldest son and my brother-in-laws baby pictures will need to be labeled because I don't know if there are two babies that look more alike. Until I saw a picture of my father in law when he was about a year old. I stared and was almost speechless, it was like looking at my 1 year old today. It is hard to not get sad when I think about my father-in-law. He had some crazy cancer that took him when he was just 50. There are so many things I'd like to ask him, so many things I'd think, "So thats where Sean gets it." Some many times when I want my children to know this man and hear him sing the Unicorn Song.

The couple things I learned...

Number 1 - I realized I don't think there can ever be too many pictures. I need to take more and capture more memories for my kids, their kids and their kids.

Number 2 - I am not jaded enough to think that these people aren't flawed. But even so, these people have loved me and cared about me and been on my side as much as the Curfmans have. And even if my reasoning is backwards, through my kids I am a blood Murphy now, and I couldn't be happier.