Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I am woman


Yesterday has to rank as one of the worst days I've had in my 12353.

I have been having a really tough time as of late. I am working through some stuff in my head that is just really hard. I am trying to figure out what is legitimate hardness and what is caused in part by my body going through some pretty significant withdrawal from a medicine that has sustained me for 16 years. This withdrawal has causes me to feel about as high as I ever did when I was using and that in itself brings up some weirdness too. In any case I was stressed out yesterday.

I had a meeting with a gal that I thought was supposed to be at 11 am, turns out she meant 12:50 pm. I had a bunch of just junk to do so I checked things off all morning. I had a frustration explosion in front of my middle son that I am now terrified will scar him for life. He handed me his toys and gave me big hugs and eventually just cried with me, although he cried because of a papercut he has milked for 3 weeks. My oldest son came home from school with a new cut and was hungry for lunch. All the while I am trying to outbid momof4 on ebay for a dumb dress for Parker.

Then it all starts...the love of Griffins life, Gailee called to ask if Griffin could come over to play. I loaded everyone up for a drive over to the future Mrs. Griffins and we headed out. I realized as we were pulling out of the driveway I had left my phone inside. "Aw forget it, we are only going to be gone for 20 minutes, who needs a phone?" So we drive on. All the while, Cooper and Parker are shoeless (a nice touch) and are missing their normal nap time but its ok, we will get naps as soon as we get home from Gailee's house. As we drive home we are on a way back road with not much but farmhouses and cows around. About the time I thought, "I'd love to live out here, it is so pretty and there is no one around to bug you" I thought whoa that is a loud airplane. I tell Cooper to look and try to find the airplane and we have no luck. I couldn't figure out why it was so loud and affecting my steering. Then there we have it, a flat back right tire...with two tired crying kids, a mom who is already eyeing the nearest cave to hide in, no phone and the stupid cow just staring at me. It was like the devil himself said, "Today I am I going to F with her" as he poked a hole in the tire.

The lane to an old farm is the setting for the next part of our story. As I tried to assess the damage with all my automotive knowledge, I can now confidently say that sucker was flat and the grinding was the rim I drove on until I figured that out. I began to dry my tears of panic and frustration and assure my kids I haven't gone totally crazy. I get the jack, tire iron and spare out and it took forever to get the thing out of the middle of the spare that keeps it hanging on the thing under the car in the holder thing. It finally popped out with a small cut and had anyone been around, they would have gotten an earful. The jack lifts the car, the tire goes on and I tried wiping my tears, again. A lady drives by and asked if I needed some help. To which I turn around and told her I am just having a tough day and thank you so much for stopping but I am fine. She looks at me oddly and says are you sure I can't get someone to help? And I turned my back and said, "God could you please at least help me stop crying????" I turned back to her so calm and like it was any other day and said again in the most nonreassuring way, "No really I am ok, thank you." Apparently I wasn't too convincing because these three guys approach and again look somewhat startled asking if I need help. I told them I was almost finished and the one gingerly asks, "Did you cut yourself? You have a blood and dirt all over your face." So looking back I think that may have been why I seemed a little more crazy than the usual tire changer.


We got home and I was at my limit. I got the kids to bed and made some calls to try to get this fixed. Sean saved my day when he came home early and took the car to get new tires. I called my girlfriend Holley who after she let me cry, she came over, gave me her car and stayed while my kids slept and went back to get Griffin at his woman's house.


The tire place put 4 new tires on, 3 just happened to have illegal tread. Who even know there was such a thing?


We made it to Griffin performance at his school,in the monsoon, still unshowered (anonymous, if your hope is to shatter someone, make a comment today). The songs were adorable and the kids were great. The final song was an LECC specific song that Rick and Roy wrote just for these kids. As they were singing, "this is a place for me, a place I have friends, a place I can learn and forever remember" I was never more thankful for Parker taking her shoes and socks off, I needed the socks to dab my tears. Cooper looked at me and I swear if he could have, he would have said, "Honestly? We are doing this again?" and then he hugged his Mama again.


All of this to say, some days suck and those days you end up sore and smelling like an old grandpa, bad. I am off to clean up the milk Cooper spilled from his cereal, no use crying over it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Annie,

I am so sorry you had such a bad day. I think you are a wonderful person and the best mom I know.

Liz said...

HOLY! That is awful. The first time I got a flat tire I called my Dad and he just said, "well didn't you change it?"

I still don't know how to change a tire, but I do know how to dial AAA...though without a phone I would have been SOL.


Very impressive indeed :)

Bragg said...

Annie, you want to help me run a "how to change your tire clinic" for all these young pups who need to rely on AAA when something terrible happens?

;)